What I Wasn't
by Kathryn Claire O'Connor
Summary: 2008: Hotch comes to realize that Reid is to Haley and Jack what he wasn't when he had the chance. Reid/Haley, a challenge from Challenge King.


Spring, 2008

"Hey, Jack?" Aaron Hotchner spoke up softly as he swung side by side with his son at the park. "I'm sorry that I missed your game last month. I wanted to tell you that then, but I guess I haven't actually seen you since before that, have I?"

Jack shook his head. "No, Daddy, but that's a'right. Spencer was here."

Aaron's eyebrows creased together. "What?"

"Spencer Reid. You know, the smart guy you work with."

"He was at your game?"

Jack nodded. "He comes if he's home and you're not."

"What? Why? Since when?"

"Because he and Mommy are friends." Jack explained innocently. "He comes by the house a lot, too."

_No way. There is absolutely no way that Reid is in a relationship with Haley._ Yet he had to ask, had to make sure, double check.

Aaron tried to keep his voice even, conversational, and nonchalant as he inquired of his young son, "What kind of friends are Mommy and Spencer?"

Jack shrugged, digging the toe of his tennis shoe into the dirt as his swinging slowed. "I'm not sure. They just call it being 'special friends'."

"Does Spencer ever..." Aaron forced the question past the tension in his chest. "Kiss Mommy?"

Jack nodded, having no idea what he had just told his father.

Aaron took a deep breath. He had never felt so betrayed, or angry. Another deep breath. He had to stay calm for his son's sake.

"But I don't think that I'm s'posed to tell about the kissin' stuff, so don't tell that I told you, 'kay, Daddy? 'Sides, it's yucky, and I close my eyes real tight when they do." Jack said this so hurriedly that half of his words were only half-formed.

"I'm sure you do." Aaron responded, trying not to grit his teeth. "Hey, buddy, are you about ready for me to drop you back off at Mommy's house?"

Jack nodded, and so away they went. When they got to Haley's house, Aaron was still so mad that he couldn't even bring himself to get out of the car. He just said his goodbyes to Jack while his boy was still in the car and then Jack walked himself to the door.

Once he was sure that Jack was safely inside, Aaron turned his car around and headed straight towards Spencer Reid's apartment building. He made it there in record time, and probably not without breaking a few speed limits.

He rapped sharply on the apartment door. "Reid, open up!"

Reid came and opened the door, trying to look at ease, but Aaron caught the lines around his mouth, the slight lack of light in his eyes. He was afraid that he had been caught. And he had been.

"She's _my_ wife, Reid!" Aaron burst out without preamble, shoving his way into the apartment.

"Who?" Reid tried to act confused as he shut the door behind Aaron.

"Who." Aaron repeated dryly. "Who do you think? HALEY!"

"What about her?"

"She. Is. My. _Wife_."

Reid's whole demeanor changed, and suddenly he was in Aaron's face, but neither one of them backed down. Not with these stakes.

"No. She's._ Not_." The genius bit out each word, standing eye to eye with him, just as furious as his team leader. "Not since the divorce. Not for how little you paid attention to her and Jack, for how much you were gone."

"And when have I gone on a case that you haven't?"

"But there's a difference._ I_ make time for her when I'm home. _I_ even find time to spend with Jack. And when I am on a case, _I_ answer her phone calls. _I_ even call her, unheard of thing that it was when she was with you. When did you ever do any of that for her, or for Jack for that matter?"

Aaron desperately wanted to refute what the young genius was saying, but, as he ran responses through his brain, he couldn't find one. And then he realized - Reid was actually right.

Whenever the call came in for a case, he went, no matter what. He _hadn't_ made time for Jack since the divorce, since, on a normal day, he didn't want to risk the pain and emotions of seeing the woman that he loved and knowing that she was no longer his. He hadn't always answered her phone calls; sometimes he was simply focused on the case and didn't want to break his concentration. He really couldn't remember being the one to call Haley while he was away on a case.

Reid saw the change in Aaron's expression, saw the defeat fall onto every inch of him.

Thus, his tone was significantly more gentle when he said, "And to answer your question, I stayed home last month. When Jack had that game and when Haley went to her first doctor's appointment, so that I could go with her."

"Doctor's appointment?" Hotch asked in concern. "Is she sick?"

At this, Reid glanced at the ground before hesitantly meeting Aaron's gaze. "Pregnant."

Aaron swallowed with difficulty, feeling, for the second time that day, like he'd just been suckerpunched. "She's pregnant? With... your child?"

Reid nodded, once again the awkward young man that Aaron knew. "I'm nowhere near sorry for being in a relationship with Haley, Hotch, but I am sorry that I hurt you. I had hoped that you wouldn't find out, or at least not this way."

Aaron nodded, sliding his impenetrable "agent" mask into place. "Alright, then." He turned his back to Reid and opened the door of the apartment. "I guess that settles that."

"Hotch," Reid started. "Wait."

With his back still to his youngest agent, Aaron ordered,"Stop, Reid. There's nothing else to say. I'll be fine. And I hope that the three - four - of you have a happy life together."

Then Aaron walked out and shut the door behind him.

* * *

**This is another challenge from the ever-awesome Challenge King. Please R&R and make my day. Thanks so much!:)**


End file.
